Day #3 of radiation and I’m going to count it by weeks since there is 6 weeks of this stuff. It makes me kinda feel weird to know that I’m getting radiation pointed to my chest right at my heart. The assistants/nurses/chicks/whateveryoucallthem, told me that when I take a deep breath it moves my heart back from my chest wall thus protecting the heart and I wear little goggles with a video inside to help me do this. It has a yellow line and a blue box..and you artist know what color blue and yellow make when you mix them together…???ticktockticktock..the answer is GREEN…and as long as I keep the yellow line inside the blue box it stays green, my heart isn’t getting any radiation…NICE HUH? Well, it still makes me feel awfully strange, scared and leary. But I can only believe that this is necessary for my health to kill off anymore dangerous fast dividing growing cancer cells that maybe got left behind…or laying dormant…it is such a scary thought for anyone that has had cancer. We do live with that fear daily…but somehow, I’m going to push it aside and try to live my life normally as I can. I will be a slave woman to MDA for 5 years, I wonder if they are going to make me wear a slave outfit…you know the kind that is sheer, flowing skirts with coins attached and bells and make me dance? I hope so…cause I love to wear costumes and I sure can make them myself…I love costuming and I love to dance…two good things in one. I think my creative slightly wacky mind has gotten me through the rough spots of this damn disease. And yes, I called you a damn disease…stay the fuck away from me, ya hear.
I’m in a pretty good mood for the time being. Need to get moving on getting a job, a new place to live or a roommate to replace the one I have now…love conquers all and makes people do strange things like move in together…good luck Kids…ya gonna need it.
As I stated before, my chin and mustache hairs are growing back rapidly and in 6 short months I have forgotten how you have to check these little buggers every day cause they grow like weeds. I had such a crop this afternoon it made me laugh….as I plucked away. Sorta missed doing all this and must get back in the swing of my normal grooming…I know this might be TMI for some of the guy readers out there but too bad, it’s a way of life.
Now, you are seeing the pictures I posted….the door to MY RADIATION ROOM. It is 6 inches thick so I’m the one that gets all the nasty juice not the nurses. The radiation machine is mine for the time being, you must go to the same machine because it knows your settings, my cradle that I lay in. The blue part was molded to my body and I have to lay the very same way each time as to make sure I get the juice in the same place each time. And last but not least is my Picasso….done by the wonderful ladies on my now boy chest. My chest is no longer a private thing and since there is no actual breast anymore, It doesn’t make me feel weird in showing it and I know I had never seen a mastectomy before…don’t look if it makes you feel sick… This may take some of the scariness out of radiation for anyone about to have it done to them. You can’t feel a thing and not much in the side effects department except they tell me you get tired and of course, you skin will burn if you don’t properly take care of it with the right kind of lotions. Funny, however, they suggest a product to use on my chest that contains petroleum products and I’m trying to not use more natural products. So, it’s either coconut oil or some Vitamin K with aloe and cocoa butter creme for me.