Just to let anyone reading my blog know, I’m in much better spirits today. It just takes a minute, maybe longer to get through each new phase of this “Thing” I’m having to go through and yes mam, I will be happy as soon as I’m on the other side. There is another side to breast cancer. Millions of women have walked in my shoes and are now survivors and I know a few myself. They are my new sisters, my new family and I have many families that I’m a part of. We did not want to join this club or be a part of this family but life hands some of us a bowl of crap and we have to eat it and move on….I’m just very impatient to move on as most anyone would be.
I’m writing this to let my friends and readers know that I am only human and humans have all kinds of feelings and moods and it is just life. No one can stay “UP” all the time, I think it is part of life or I wouldn’t be human.
My nails still hurt, one on my left hand is in trouble and I am concerned I am going to accidentally hit it and pull it off so I try to keep a bandage on it. I started with the antibodies, which I’m not fond of taking but hell, I’m not fond of this whole thing. I’m doing things, having things done to me that I never in my life thought I would be going through. My right little fingernail is completely brown this morning and more are following almost by the hour. You get use to the pain till a new one comes along. And everyone’s pain threshold is different, I had no concept what mine was like till I got my diagnosis. I could tell you all about emotional pain, menstrual pain, migraine headache pain but this is all-encompassing pain. All over in every part or bit of your being; daily awaking pain. Sleep is my pain meds…and unfortunately, sleep does not come much with this at least for me.
So, I have calmed down and in better spirits. A good friend is coming to visit me today and that makes me in good spirits too. I will beat the hell out of cancer and my attitude is just right and good for me. A GREAT BIG Thank you to everyone that responded to me, I know I AM BLESSED with many friends, it makes a girl feel good and warm and cozy.