Thoughts Become Things, Keep the Good Ones if You Can….

The Good News Today is, My 3rd treatment is Monday, Jan.10,2011 which means I’m halfway through this stage of recovery….21 days later, #4 and 21 more days later is #5 will be OVER….OVER….then surgery, then radiation…seems so simple doesn’t it? Just math, 21 days….but the side affects are not so much fun and it feels like I am going to be sick forever when they are at the peak of horribleness…no spell check on that word, I made it up! Each time I go through another chemo, it gives me knowledge and tools for the next time but a new set of side effects seems to show up. which makes this a very scary process. I’m trying to fill up my dance card this week and get stuff done while I feel like myself. Today, is run errands and go and see the house that burned to the ground in my old neighborhood.  I feel so strongly about going there because I feel so much compassion for the woman that died in the fire..and there may have been two ladies, her and the caretaker. She had MS and was in a wheelchair and at the time of the fire, most likely in bed. This magnificent house burend to the ground in about an hour. Sounds unbelievable doesn’t it?

I’m still struggling with the reason I am sick and what I’m suppose to be learning from this. I know I have said, its  luck of the draw, random….but don’t know for sure, who does? I know its teaching me to not take things for granted so much, and to be kinder more gentle soul and to speak my mind even more than I did before, like I’ve ever head back on anything before as you that know me so well,  to eat better, no processed foods, fresh organic veggies, and live like each day is my last….that is the hardest thing to do and has gotten me in some trouble….hahaha…but the main thing is to just appreciate what I already have. Today, as far as tangible things, I have much less than I did 10 years ago…I seem to be able to live on air…lololol…I do so much want to open a shop again…ALONE! With paid employees. My passion is still the same, vintage clothing, costuming, jewelry, my own that i make and of course the old vintage jewelry. I have been wanting to make hats…just musings about me for a minute here. I have many appointments on Friday at MDA which is normal before my next chemo.  I need a plan for when this is over….I need a plan….

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