I haven’t felt much like writing in a while, had a serious bout with a little dehydration among a lot of other things. I went into the ER last week after friends arrived at my house and called 911. I was very ill and needed some quick medical attention. I must say, MD Anderson hospital stay was the best treatment that I’ve ever had at a hospital. I felt like I was in a medical spa! They got me feeling better, pampered me a bit and sent me home with lots of good drugs and some instructions to take to get well. I won’t bore you with the gory details what happened and frankly, I’m tired from sitting at the computer today. Just wanted to bring you up on my condition. All this week, I have many appointments that go along with different aspects of this disease. Dis-Ease…yes, it is definitely a dis ease. So many things can malfunction on your body in a second when you go through chemo it is unbelievable. And like so many other conditions, no two people react the same or is their treatments the same…I do hope and pray that my treatments get adjusted to fit with my body and I will be more prepared for the next time which is next Monday, Dec.20, so please keep me in mind once again on that date as I sit/lay with the healing waters going into my veins. I will have a port placement in my chest this Friday so my veins don’t give out on me. After the hospital visit, I am amazed that I still have veins!
So, the next picture you see of me, I will look a little different. Sunday morning on the way to meet my brunch group I noticed something that I have been dreading, my hair is coming out by the handfuls. My thick long red hair is coming out of my scalp. I just cried and cried as I ran my fingers through the ends of my hair untangling the rats from the night before as it didn’t even seem to be attached to my head. I said, if this started to happen, I was going to go and get it cut off so the shock of my long hair would not be as devastating. I have an appointment tomorrow at 10:30am to get my hair cut off to a short style while I wait for all of it to come out. Ladies, this is HARD. This is HARD…It’s hard to write this and realize I’m writing about myself. The reality of this dis ease is harsh but we all have to go through the stages to get to the other side. I have grieved so much this past two years, the losses….they just make me stronger and stronger. I will be able to leap tall buildings soon, I just know I will be Super Woman when this is all over with Super Powers and I will wear rhinestones and high heels and red lipstick and most likely a leopard skin-tight dress, oh, and don’t forget the beehive hair do….whatyathink?…..Sound like me? That will be my Super Power uniform.
Now, on to something really awesome that happened to me today. I was on the phone with my little brother just chatting away this afternoon and I went to my kitchen back door which opens to a balcony where we have herbs and plants and chairs to sit in the sun. I often sit out and meditate on the balcony it is a very pleasant place in my house. The second I opened the door, I was face to face with a magnificent brown feathered animal flying so close to me I could have touched his wing. Seriously…touched him….He looked me in the eyes and flew into the tree next to our house. He was flying past our house at the same time I opened the back door to the upstairs balcony…. He dropped his gray furry animal that he was holding in his mighty claw into the tree as he slammed into the branches, did u turn and sat for a second gathering himself on a branch, flew towards me again, turned in mid-air and flew in-between the tree and the house next door. It happened to fast I didn’t say a word or move in amazement. This is not our first meeting. I saw him last spring on a tree in the field across the street and the next thing I was looking in his eyes for the first time as he flew at me in the window doing a sweeping u turn to avoid crashing into my window upstairs. He then flew away down the street. Both times, I saw his little black eyes for a split second peering into my soul. This is my hawk and I think we need to stop meeting this way. This maybe is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me…this encounter with a wild creature. I feel like he is watching..he is watching me and I don’t know why. Talk about chance meetings!!! This magnificent creature has allowed me to see him up close and I feel honored. Just to let you know, it’s not the chemo talking, it really happened and I’m still reeling in amazement this evening. There is a photo of him sitting on a sign across the street the first time I saw him in my neighborhood. I ran and got my camera and practically walked right up to him and took his picture. It is posted on my facebook account. I will try to find it and repost here on my blog so you too can he him.