Rhinestones, Red Lipstick, Leopard Dress and High Heels

I haven’t felt much like writing in a while, had a serious bout with a little dehydration among a lot of other things. I went into the ER last week after  friends arrived at my house and called 911. I was very ill and needed some quick medical attention.  I must say, MD Anderson hospital stay was the best treatment that I’ve ever had at a hospital. I felt like I was in a medical spa! They got me feeling better, pampered me a bit and sent me home with lots of good  drugs and some instructions to take to get well. I won’t bore you with the gory details what happened and frankly, I’m tired from sitting at the computer today.  Just wanted to bring you up on my condition. All this week, I have many appointments that go along with different aspects of this disease.  Dis-Ease…yes, it is definitely a dis ease. So many things can malfunction on your body in a second when you go through chemo it is unbelievable. And like so many other conditions, no two people react the same or is their treatments the same…I do hope and pray that my treatments get adjusted to fit with my body and I will be more prepared for the next time which is next Monday, Dec.20, so please keep me in mind once again on that date as I sit/lay with the healing waters going into my veins. I will have a port placement in my chest this Friday so my veins don’t give out on me. After the hospital visit, I am amazed that I still have veins!

So, the next picture you see of me, I will look a little different. Sunday morning on the way to meet my brunch group I noticed something that I have been dreading, my hair is coming out by the handfuls. My thick long red hair is coming out of my scalp. I just cried and cried as I ran my fingers through the ends of my hair untangling the rats from the night before as it didn’t even seem to be attached to my head. I said, if this started to happen, I was going to go and get it cut off so the shock of my long hair would not be as devastating. I have an appointment tomorrow at 10:30am to get my hair cut off to a short style while I wait for all of it to come out. Ladies, this is HARD. This is HARD…It’s hard to write this and realize I’m writing about myself. The reality  of this dis ease is harsh but we all have to go through the stages to get to the other side.  I have grieved so much this past two years, the losses….they just make me stronger and stronger. I will be able to leap tall buildings  soon, I just know I will be Super Woman when this is all over with Super Powers and I will wear rhinestones and high heels and red lipstick and most likely a leopard skin-tight dress, oh, and don’t forget the beehive hair do….whatyathink?…..Sound like me? That will be my Super Power uniform.

Now, on to something really awesome that happened to me today. I was on the phone with my little brother just chatting away this afternoon and I went to my kitchen back door which opens to a balcony where we have herbs and plants and chairs to sit in the sun. I often sit out and meditate on the balcony it is a very pleasant place in my house.  The second I opened the door, I was face to face with a magnificent brown feathered animal flying so close to me I could have touched his wing. Seriously…touched him….He looked me in the eyes and flew into the tree next to our house. He was flying past our house at the same time I opened the back door to the upstairs balcony…. He dropped his gray furry animal that he was holding in his mighty claw into the tree as he slammed into the branches, did u turn and sat for a second gathering himself on a branch, flew towards me again, turned in mid-air and flew in-between the tree and the house next door. It happened to fast I didn’t say a word or move in amazement. This is not our first meeting. I saw him last spring on a tree in the field across the street and the next thing I was looking in his eyes for the first time as he flew at me in the window doing a sweeping u turn to avoid crashing into my window upstairs. He then flew away  down the street. Both times, I saw his little black eyes for a split second peering into my soul. This is my hawk and I think we need to stop meeting this way. This maybe is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me…this encounter with a wild creature. I feel like he is watching..he is watching me and I don’t know why.  Talk about chance meetings!!! This magnificent creature has allowed me to see him up close and I feel honored.  Just to let you know, it’s not the chemo talking, it really happened and I’m still reeling in amazement this evening. There is a photo of him sitting on a sign across the street the first time I saw him in my neighborhood. I ran and got my camera and practically walked right up to him and took his picture. It is posted on my facebook account. I will try to find it and repost here on my blog so you too can he him.


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7 Responses to Rhinestones, Red Lipstick, Leopard Dress and High Heels

  1. Randy Keith says:

    Hey Baby – Bald is Beautiful! You just put on them high heels and smear on that bright red lipstick and you’ll still be the prettiest chick in the room, especially arriving in “the coop!”

  2. P.A. Mueller says:

    I love you Sam. Body and soul. Inside and out.

  3. Leslie Sirag says:

    So are you donating your hair to Locks of Love? Maybe they could make you z wig from your own?
    The hawk encounter is awesome — there’s a line in Little Big Man (I think)–when the chief is happy he says “My heart soars like a hawk.”
    It’s a very positive sign — check it out someplace like Wikipedia.
    You WILL be SuperSam!

  4. deborah says:

    Sam, I can take you on the 20th if you need. Can come visit, help glue rhinestones to your scalp, cook inappropriate foods, indulge in dark humor, and sing loudly and off key. I also drive, do laundry, grocery shop, and help with holiday stuff. Please call.

    • Deborah, I’m not sure which Deborah this is since there is no last name and whoever it is, I do appreciate your kind offer. I do have the 20th already lined up and it is an all day thing, just to let you know. It never starts the time they have me scheduled. I will definitely be very nervous on that day anticipating the worse to come after the first batch. That is an honest statement. Please send me an email with your last name so I know who you are….thanks, Sam

  5. Shelby Smith says:

    Sam, Beautiful Woman, your hawk is a protector and you are safe with him.
    I see you whole, healthy and happy.

  6. Stephanie Hardwick says:

    Oh Sam…this hawk story is GOOD news! He’s your totem. A hawk symbolizes visionary power and guardianship. Hawks are “the protectors.” Hawks and owls have the keenest eyes of all raptors. And…you saw this hawk on the 14th! The number 14 is very important in hawk symbolism. They can live up to 14 years in the wild. Ask a friend who knows more than I do about the importance of the number 14 in numerology and psychism. I know it has to do with vision and with the activation of your vital energy and the bold expression of it and the development of higher levels of consciousness. This is so awesome! Your hawk sighting was no coincidence, but you know that. He knows you need to see him, and he brings you a strong message of vision and healing. The universe has big plans for you, love. Wow.

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