Went to my appointment this morning and I got to ask all the questions that had been hangin in the outer fringes of my mind. In a nutshell, I felt better after I left his office. I am getting a diagonal 3 to 4″ incision under my arm pit so he can remove the tumor, if there is one in there and the lymph nodes. This is called a lymphomectry I asked why I wasn’t getting chemo first and said once again, Ms.VanBibber, your situation is weird”…I’m keeping up with my legacy of being “weird” and I thanked him and laughed. Been “weird” all my life, been accused of driving a Weird Car, Shaving my head on one side in the 80s and dying the other side pink…that was weird, owning a vintage clothing store, a lot of people thought that was weird too…I have always worn vintage clothes, some people think that is “weird” too….I don’t, It’s just me….I love leopard print in my clothing, furniture, my car and most anything I can find leopard….is that “weird” to you? I’m so happy being weird its just fine with me. My breast tissue goes much further back than the normal woman and he “hopes” there is a tumor embedded in the lymph nodes. I pray that he gets all the nasty green dodo out of me with his scapula. I am NOT losing any of my breast that I actually stuff into my bra at this moment….that was a sign of relief. A HUGE sign of relief!!! Said, my recovery should be about 2 to 3 weeks, I will have issues with the incision. But pain meds will take care of that…I’ll make sure to NOT abuse them…thank you…. They have to find the tumor so I can be staged and then that will determine my chemo medicine strength that I will be shot up with…lololol….yes, I’m laughing. I’m weird remember!!!
I said, if you cut into the tumor, will it spread all over my body. He basically said that was an old wives tale…that was a relief too. He told me a lot of people ask him that one too. You see the chemo has to be sent to where the cancer is and right now, all they know is its’ under my arm pit somewhere…or minute in my breast tissue in my actual breast.
This disease will wear you out, some people get it, have treatment and then surgery or visa versa and then they are off to the rat races again. And some folks have a harder time getting well. Years of this stuff go on and on. I have read so many stories of heroic people who fight this C for years. I do hope and pray I am not one of those people who is forced to fight for my life for years. I’m already tired of it and want it to be over. I didn’t sleep much last night, already an insomniac the cancer has made it worse but I’m exhausted. I hope to be able to post and tell you what I went through at the hospital and my results. PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR THOUGHTS …I’m going in Wednesday at 6am…St. Joes….I hope to have pictures of the hospital event too.
I love everyone that is taking me, staying with me and there when I wake up. It’s my own army of women. I don’t know what I would do without each and everyone of you in my life. Thank you.