UGH….Trying to Rally up for a evening Out With Friends

This shit is just working my last nerve. All I’ve done today is nothing much. I listed three things on ebay…that took about 0 time. Been listing for so long I can pop em out in a heartbeat. sold nothing for days…Can’t create…all I eat is grass….I went to Art Car Event last night and drank one glass of wine and I was slightly almost wasted….I’m not eating anything. I’m scared to eat meat anymore…spinach, avocados, tomatoes, some other green something and broccoli….no sugar…my energy is so low. I am suppose to go dancing…think I will be able to dance. I feel like I have a heavy veil over my face and a huge dark rain cloud over my head about to storm. I thought that losing my husband was bad, I’m about to lose me…help me God, I think I’m drowning in self pity …can you hear me????????????/// Damn it…I want this out of me NOW! NOW…I can hear myself screaming my head is just sitting up there about to fall off. I sitting in a chair holding my head…I sat around the house all day with no clothes on…naked…it felt good…I’m so fucking sad….I have to pull myself together before they get here…damndamndamdnI have major anxiety and I feel like I can’t get enough air in my lungs…this is sucking.I’m going to dress and go outside…

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2 Responses to UGH….Trying to Rally up for a evening Out With Friends

  1. Rick Luther says:

    Try going outside BEFORE you dress. Might lighten your mood.

  2. Ann Rodgers says:

    Baby, I know that feeling, like the life has been sucked out. I have felt like this since Harley Rodgers died, he was sig. other for ten years. I felt so lost and alone. I cant even begin to know what you are going through. But I am your friend and I will be with you, just let me know if you need me to come get you. Love you , Ann

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