Where’s my Refrigerator?

Frustration sets in, I don’t handle things as well as I should, I get flustered, anxious, angry, I flip out and lose my cool….my landlord is trying to get us a decent refrigerator  but buying one second hand is not working so good right now. The one they brought to us Monday was pouring water from the bottom of the piece and had dead roach bodies in the Freezer…I flipped out slammed the door and screamed…TAKE IT BACK and BRING ME ANOTHER ONE….it has been less than a month that , what appears to have been the same refrigerator that they just brought to me, it broke down …we lost all of our food. This time, just like the last time, we threw away 4 grocery bags of food…we had just gone to the grocery and the Farmers market.  I have to change my diet and eat healthy., I thought I did but no sugar, no refined white flour…GREEN veggies…I eat all of those plus..I’m a baker, I love sweets, they told me cancer FEEEDDDS on SUGAR…oh HELL NO… ..So many changes…my head just can’t take anything else. I tried meditating and usually I can go into a quite moment…my head would not stop this morning. Swirling thoughts of EVERYTHING all jumbled up. Still waiting on the “CALL” from the Rose for my treatment plan and what to do next. I feel my clock ticking away…I’ve always been a fighter for what I wanted in life…don’t tread on me…I will bite your head off and eat it for a snack. That the Scorpio Rising  bitch inside of me when pushed to the wall, she will come out with claws and teeth……and I don’t like her at all.   When she comes out, Katy bar the door!, My Mother use to say…I’m full of my Grandmothers and Mothers sayings and some of them aren’t even pretty but I learned all this from them. Of course, we all do…especially women I think…remaining calm is not an easy task for me. I was told over and over again by other women that my recovery depends on my attitude…80% of my recovery….CHANGE SAM CHANGE SAM… and nobody is giving me any rules that I can make override my crazy thinking. I’m listening and taking breaths…baby steps…trying to not get upset when things don’t go my way…learned behavior is HARD TO CHANGE….I’m breathing in breathing out…asking for help. Help Help Help….God has a plan. I’m where I’m suppose to be, I have lessons to learn…I GET ALL THAT but IT AIN’T EASY BABY….CHANGE OR DIE…my choice…hellsbells Instant gratification, grated cheese, use to be Polaroids now its digital…instant karma…fast fast faster….faster internet…now now now…what has the world become, my world…

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4 Responses to Where’s my Refrigerator?

  1. Lori says:

    “How to Bring the Power In Your Word Into ACTION”

    In your every word there is a power germ that expands and projects itself in the direction your word indicates, and ultimately develops into physical expression. For example, you wish to establish JOY in your consciousness. Just repeat the word “joy” (or HEALTH, as the case may be… 😉 …) secretly, persistently and emphatically. They joy/health germ begins to expand and project itself until your whole being is filled with joy/health. This is not a mere fancy, but a truth. Once you experience this power, you will “daily prove that these facts have not been fabricated to fit a theory, but the theory has been built up by careful observation of facts.” Everyone knows that joy/health comes from within. Another may give you cause for joy/health, but no one can be joyous/healthy for you. Joy/health is a state of consciousness, and consciousness is purely “mental”.
    Mental faculties always work under something which stimulates them, and this stimulus may come either from without, through the external senses, or from within by the consciousness of something not perceptible on the physical plane. The recognition of this interior source of stimulus enables you to bring into your consciousness any state you “desire”. Once a thing seems normal to you, it is as surely yours, through the law of growth and attraction, as it is yours to know addition after you have the conscious use of figures.
    This methos of repeating the word makes the word in all of its limitless meaning yours, because words are the embodiment of thoughts, and thought is creative, neither good nor bad, simply creative. This is the reason why Faith builds up and fear destroys. “Only believe, and ALL things are possible unto you.” It is Faith that gives you dominion over every adverse circumstance or condition. It is your word of FAITH that sets you free, not faith in any specific thing or act, but simple Faith in your BEST SELF in all ways. It is because of this ever-present creative power within the heart of the word that makes your health, your piece of mind and your financial condition a reproduction of your most habitual thought. Try to believe and understand this, and you will find yourself Master of every adverse circumstance or condition – a QUEEN of Power!

    Taken from “Your Invisible Power” Genevieve Behrend, 1921
    (some words added – /health….and one changed ….from “prince” to QUEEN!)

    Change your thoughts and Change your life! (Wayne Dyer….?)

    I love you, Sam! Focus the anger, pain and frustration into healing!
    Love your new refrigerator – BEFORE it arrives! Love your body as it IS, now and repeat after me….
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    and AGAIN –
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    and AGAIN
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    This is what I SEE for my dear friend – Sammy!
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”
    “Health. Well-being. Wholeness. Light. Love. Abundance. Peace. JOY!!!!”

  2. Sam,

    I am so sorry for your pain but I know you are one tough woman who will come out of this just fine! My prayers are with you. Come see me in Memphis!

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